September 9, 2012

Betrayal comes through trust

Tashi and Wangmo were childhood friends. They have spent most of their times together. They studied in same school but Wangmo was one year junior to Tashi. They had fun that nobody had and over the period of time, their friendship turned into love. Tashi could not confess his feelings and it remained dormant for one year.

It was only during his eighth grade that he made his words come for real. He poured out his love for her and she accepted on his first trail. Tashi was overwhelmed by her approval and everyday was like butterflies and rainbows for him. Their love grew stronger day by day and they didn’t even spend a day without seeing each other. They conversed on the phone, when they missed each other. Tashi’s love for Wangmo was vast and they often got together when their parents went out for dinner.

As the time flew by, Tashi finally finished his eighth standard and had to change his school. The pain of separation was unbearable and with his utmost guts, he admitted the fact to Wangmo. She was heartbroken but there was nothing that could stop Tashi from changing the school. He assured to keep in touch with her and promised to meet during their holidays. Tashi went to one of the higher secondary schools in west.

By then, distance played very painful role between them. The only option that they had was to talk on the phone. They exchanged their emotions and Tashi often cried because of the pain of not being able to see her. He would not miss even a single day without hearing her comforting voice. Whenever it was possible, he made it through letters and mails. Wangmo willingly responded his letters and mails on time and she never let Tashi felt sad, despite the huge distance between them.

Tashi’s love for Wangmo was unfathomable like the depth of the ocean. He always hankered to see her but it was possible only in his dream. Nevertheless, he continually hoped for the best and dreamt of seeing her one day. Without their notice, the year had eventually come to an end. Tashi’s joy of meeting Wangmo was infinite and he was very eager to see her. They made a plan to meet on Wangmo’s birthday. It was on December 17th and Tashi decided to come one day earlier. He purchased some gifts for her and it was well wrapped up. Tashi could not sleep on that very day as he was flabbergasted with euphoric feelings.

At around 11 in the morning, he made a call to Wangmo and said, “Where shall we meet’’? Wangmo replied, “At our usual hangout”. Tashi dolled up smartly, and wore his all-time favorite perfume gifted by his beloved. When Tashi was about to reach, Wangmo was already there waiting for him. No sooner did Tashi see Wangmo than he hugged her without uttering a single word. Tears rolled down from his eyes and he was mute for a while. He shared the pains of being away from her, and she too expressed her feelings. They spent almost 3 hours talking over a cup of coffee. The pleasure of seeing each other was gigantic. Tashi and Wangmo spent all their holidays together.

Ultimately, all the good things came to an end, when they again have to report to the school. Once more the rush of the adrenaline was felt by the two love bugs. Tashi was sad and it was so hard for him to part from Wangmo. It was like a bird suddenly disappearing from the vast blue sky. Wangmo on the other side felt the same and she cried, hugging him tightly. As Tashi took his way towards west, he waved his hands till the fading point, carrying all those sketchy memories. Tashi had tough time solacing his despair. With much of difficulty, he reached his destination safely.

After 4 years, Wangmo finished her 12th standard and decided to study aboard. By then, Tashi was already a sophomore in college. Wangmo made up her mind to study in the same college. He was very much happy and waited for her. Everything was well arranged by Tashi and after a week, Wangmo reached in the college. Life was beautiful back in college. They stayed together and often quarrel broke out between them. They went out for movies, shopping’s and had lots of fun together with friends. They were always together wherever they went and Tashi also learnt to cook with her help.

Time arrived, when he had to return back home after his graduation. With heavy heart, he parted from Wangmo. He phoned her every night, though they were miles away from each other. He trusted her so much and waited till her graduation got over. Day came, when she finally graduated and had to return back home. She reached Bhutan after 3 days of tiring journey. Tashi was hopefully waiting for her.

The next morning, he called Wangmo but she didn’t respond his call. He waited one whole day for her call but all in vain. With much of consistency, he was able to contact her. Wangmo didn’t talk properly and the circumstances became worse day by day. Tashi did nothing wrong to her and tried his every possible way to make their relationship like usual but nothing good happened. He struggled for one week and every night, he drank to ooze out his pain from heart. Tashi experienced the bitterest moment, all day and night. Beside all his love and trust, Wangmo enlightened Tashi with intolerable pain. Gradually tashi’s pain subsidized and right after his birthday, he posted a letter to Wangmo which read:

Dear Wangmo,

Those bygone days, spent by us will be cherished. Everything that we aspire in life doesn’t turn up in reality. And the uncertainty of world awakened me from my sleepless night and taught me, what it feels like to be jilted. The fear always lurked inside me that, one day you may split our way and find your own. Had I have known this; I would have solaced your heart and never let this rude instant to barricade my way. I lost hope against myself. All we did, all we had and all we shared were nothing but a gift from almighty above. One big hope was to meet before you made your own ways. I feel disheartened and there is no way out rather than to let it go. I was frightened by darkness and I too aspired like others to shine but it was not inscribed on my fate.

Now, I realized that I was hoping for what was not mine. I decided to let it go, because I don’t want my life to be sympathized by others and live in torments. I am letting the dew on the blade of grass to wane. I am accepting what I can’t. Yet, all is not lost. Time can heal my wound. I guess this is the end of our journey. Thank you for everything.                                                                                      

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