July 19, 2012

On the rebound

I wrote this piece some months ago and i do not intend to hurt any person.

The last night was bit pacifying as I was tipsy. I went out with my friends for a ride to Buddha point, the place where we are expected to say prayers. Despite the fact, we were found guzzling and we stood there for some times. I did this to ease away my pain but that was just ephemeral. Later, at around 10 pm, I made my way back to home. I thought of jotting down some lines but I couldn’t as I was in woozy mood. I did nothing and I directly went to bed. A morning hour was hectic because the hangover still lingered in me. Inadvertently, I happened to stare at my phone and I saw light flickering on it. Someone had in-boxed me.  It read, ‘GOOD MORNING’. I got up as soon as I saw the text and groomed myself fresh and clean. I responded, ‘can I meet you today’? She said, yes come to my place. I was happy and overwhelmed by joy, because I didn’t see her for one year. She waited for me at the junction. I saw her standing and I too arrived there. At a very first glance, my instinct forced me to greet her with a warm hug but I couldn’t, fearing that I may get rejected. Substituting it with a smile on my face, I asked her, whether she was keeping fine or not. Then, she accompanied me to her home. I was offered with a honeyed tea which made me feel very close to her. We yakked for long time and I was even bestowed with the facility to surf the net. I logged into my Facebook account and checked some messages. I had many untold things to share with her but again the same fear prowled in me. As I continued face booking, she kept staring over my profile (I may not be true). Besides, I also logged in to check out my results. As time kept fleeting, she murmured some words. By then it was already lunch time and she was generous enough to ask me for lunch. I didn’t accept at first. She repeatedly asked me and I ate with ecstasy. The curry was fried tuber and it recapped me of college days. She used to prepare me the same curry. I didn’t thank her in words but I did from inside. Then, I was all set to begin the conversation that was supposed to. I asked her, if we could ever be together again. The response was clear but I wanted to listen from her. All of sudden, she remained soundless and I was lost in her thoughts for a while. No sooner did she retort my questions, than I started feeling the beat of my heart and the words say, ‘I won’t be able to come back at this point of time’. At least, I was happy that she had that guts to voice it out.  I am not down because I had it ample and now, all I got to learn is how to smile, when defied with pain, because I have miles to go ahead. The long anticipated hope was crushed into pieces and I decided to leave. She had some things to purchase from the nearby shop and as I could not found way to leave, I decided that it would be better to go with her. I too found her face glued with frustrations and forced beams of smile. I didn’t do anything wrong to her and I was wondering for what reason, was she getting cooked up. We gradually walked up to the shop and she bought her things. She came out of the shop and asked me, if I wanted to taste an ice cream. Without refusal, I picked up one chocolate flavored ice cream and started licking it. The taste was marvelous. I kept her standing there, till it finished melting in my mouth. I paused for a second and said, thank you for the ice cream and I apologized her for troubling for a minute. She then, turned away on her side and took her way. Infinite thoughts encircled me and I took my way towards the town, just for the sake of forgetting the discomfort. I took time to meet up with my old friends and we loitered around for couple of hours. With heavy heart and broken hope, I came back home safely. I realized, of all the greatest thing, a man can ever do is to forgive what he cannot. And today, I found a new light of hope, and a way of depriving my agony. And that is, by doodling down the expression of true heart. “New rays of hope, unleashed from the shadow of sorrows and finally, my pain has gone’’.

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